English 11 class party

So Miss Mata announced that we were going to have a class party on the 23rd of March 2010 at the Adarna Restaurant along Kalayaan Avenue. It's a costume party and we're supposed to dress up like our favorite character from a work of fiction. If I ever come, I'll be decked in pirate regalia again, although my English 11 class has seen it. I'm too lazy to dress up as something else. Anyway, problem is, I can't figure out if I'll come or not. It's a party so there's a lot of drinking involved. I want to stay away from that so, yeah. Also, dinner will be on ourselves so we have to bring money along. But the thing is, the winner of best costume will receive an expensive anthology. I wonder what that is... That's exactly why I'd like to go... You see, I'm raising my hopes that I'd win (hands down to anyone who'd come in dressed like the very old man with enormous wings or the spider-woman...). XD

So that's about it. But my gut tells me not to go... Because I'm lazy, like that.

Course... Dilemma?

Well, see, I've been pondering this problem again. I thought I'd resigned myself to the fact that I'd be continuing my present course, BA Journalism, because it didn't rain that Friday. Err. That's weird, I know, but I needed a sign and it didn't come. That means I wouldn't shift to the Creative Writing program. But when I think of plots, characters, and adjectives, I can't help thinking of the possibility: what if Creative Writing is really meant for me? I sure can't make up my mind! Sometimes, I tell myself that I'll finish Journalism first and then take another four-year course on Creative Writing, or maybe just the non-Baccalaureate Creative Writing certificate. But I worry myself sick when I think about taking CW 100 in my third year, first semester... (I'm not really convinced that's a good idea and that I might get A LOT of scolding from my adviser but who cares. I want to take the Elective, for goodness' sake!) What if I suddenly change my mind while taking CW 100 and decide to shift to the program? Hell, I'll be in my third year and only three or four semesters away from that coveted diploma and now I'll be changing my mind? I just feel so guilty, is all...

Okay, so let's say I did shift to Creative Writing this summer, after all. Yehey! Happy!... But what if I suddenly think that the syllabus, the professors, my classmates, and the course itself sucked? Would I run back to the College of Mass Communication and decide to take Journalism again? AAGH! -tears hair- My thoughts are so full of what if's. I envy people who are really persistent in shifting out from their present courses. And those who won't. At least, they know what they're doing and have made up their mind about what they're going to do in the future... (I don't want to end up studying in a college in my province because I got kicked out of UP for spending more than 6 years.)

I have to find out just where the "bend in the road" is and what my "Alpine Path" would look like, is all...

Either way, both courses are still concerned with writing. The only difference is that they work in different forms. If I do continue with Journalism, I'd take up Feature Writing. I have it all mapped out but I'm seriously having doubts. God help me.

... On the other hand, at least I'm a normal seventeen year old worrying about her future. So there! :)

This week was...

One of the best I've had in UPD! It is one of the most stressful weeks but - thank God! - it's fun and oddly relaxing.

Well, let's start with Monday: We had our first exam in Math 1. To tell the truth, I wasn't very confident with my answers. More or less, I might be likely to get a score of 36 - 54. I forgot to write that there were no Toki jeeps that day (at least I didn't see one...) so I had to walk all the way to the Math building. It was my first time, by the way. It was quite far and my legs were aching when I arrived. Anyway, after the exam, I walked again to the OUR to check the 2010 UPCAT results. Ha! There were a lot of people, mostly students, who were running their fingers down the lists to see if their names are printed. I wriggled my way in and took out a piece of paper where my sister's and her classmates's names were written. I went to the 'S' section first and looked for our surname. Voila! It was there! And guess what? She was eligible to enroll in UP Diliman and will take the course BS Tourism. Yes, I could jump up to the ceiling. I sighed, relieved, and all the tiredness went out of me when I read that name. Unfortunately, only my sister and Kim passed. But it's okay. At least somebody passed. :)

On Tuesday, I lost a Scrabble fight. My wins still outnumber the losses, though, with 5 to 2. Oh well. One can't win every game. At around 11:00am, my J100 group mates and I went to Philcoa to shoot our presentation (Libertarian Theory). We had lunch at McDo; we also planned to shoot there. However, when my group mates were shooting the second scene, the guard noticed and told them that they'd have to stop or else the manager might get angry. No choice. We left the restaurant and decided to shoot outside. However, some street children tried to grab our almost empty sundaes (we were using them as props). They were really scary, I tell you. When they finally left us, we went to Mini Stop and decided to shoot there. It was a good thing that the people there allowed us. :) After that, we went back to U.P. Haha! This is one of the fun parts of the day! We shot a scene where all of us had to lie on our backs along the University Avenue!

Wednesday saw one of the best experiences I've ever had as a MassCom student. Yeah, yeah, this isn't going to be the last, I know. ;) During the afternoon, we went to the studios of TV5 and watched a taping of Who wants to be a millionaire? It was fun for a lot of reasons. Mainly because they fed us three times? Haha! It was also my first cut... Which turned out to be unsuccessful because Ms. Mata wasn't around. Also, we went back to the dorm by 12:30am or later - my first. I was really scared, you know? What if the guard didn't let me in? LOL. But I did get in and slept soundly.

We were supposed to have our buddy date - Yna and I - today but the first workshop (a requirement to be able to enter BroadGuild) was going to occur that day, 4-7PM. We had to re-schedule. The workshop was all about flash animation and layouting. It was fun. I got to meet my buddy and gained 11 trivias about Kuya Rhai. I also got to meet three other FG's who didn't come with us on the media tour. I went back to the dorm at around 7:20 and took out my dinner. Tiring day...

It's finally Friday and I'm able to go back home. We still don't have Lingg 1 so I slept until 7am. :) Kas 2 is better since I'm more familiar with the discussions (the beginning of civilizations in Asia). Oh yeah. We're going to have our first exam January 30, Saturday, from 10am - 12nn. As the days pass, I feel more and more calm about the exam. Thank God... We didn't have English 11 (again) so I was able to go home at 1:30, I think. I arrived in Pampanga at 5 in the afternoon.

Haa... Rest until Monday. I'm able to go home on early Tuesday morning since we won't have Scrabble classes. :)

January 6, 2010

6:23PM - It's been a beautiful day with a mixture of fortunate and unfortunate events. It seems very little is left of Emily's pen, though.

Perhaps the culprit is the fear I felt during our class for Kasaysayan 2. Our professor had announced that our first exam will take place on January, probably on the 25th. I was immediately seized with fear. My heart was beating so fast. I swear I was shaking in my seat. It was a horrible feeling, really. I'm pretty sure you have felt it before. Ah, the best way to illustrate is in this way:

"The old man with the familiar voice and odd gestures - the monster in my dreams. He haunts me; his words are poison spreading on my mind, ridding it of sanity. I am like the shinigami of my memory, cowering beneath the awesome power of one stronger than he. In a moment, he loses his grip on the sword and -

BAM! Fear envelops his soul, squeezing out all the good juices. It torments him endlessly, day in and day out. It does not let him go and tells him of impending doom and the most horrible failure. Yes, I am like he. I know his feeling. I must fight it, but I have grown weary from fretting and crying. I cannot - no, no longer - raise my sword, not even the scabbard would do. Another. Yes, another must fight for me. He will uphold my cause and help me stand. How romantic - like the knight that saves the damsel from the scaly reptile. How soothing. How lovely..."

I wrote those two paragraphs last Monday. I was so depressed then.

We watched a film for Linguistics 1. The subject matter is interesting enough but the images flashed on the screen and the sound quality was horribly troubling. It was very boring and not worth mentioning.

Ms. Mata cancelled classes because she is sick. I wish it would continue until Friday. (I am so sly sometimes, no?) I want to go home already.

I had to clean (really clean!) my room this afternoon. It's General Inspection day and all must be in order. I even swept the top of the bookshelf and tried to use the bunot on the floor. (I don't know if the bunot worked. I didn't see any difference. The floor was still red and shiny.) The bunot had something written on it: "May bunot kami!!" I laughed in my mind. It was amusing to see a coconut husk with something like that written on it! It's as if owning a bunot was a luxury... Oh, some may consider it a luxury, I think. No one ever hardly uses them anyway. Perhaps we'll see them in a museum someday...

I finally have my readings for Kasaysayan 2. It wasn't very thick - only 91 pages long. It was easy reading too, which is good. I had it ring bound for 35 pesos because the stapler wouldn't do. I hope I remember to bring it home this Friday...

It seems we won't be having classes for Linguistics 1 on January 22. That's quite fortunate. I'll be taking my Kasaysayan 2 exam during the afternoon on that date so that I won't have to go back to the dorm on January 24. It would be nice to spend some hours reviewing for the exam.

As I was walking to the Faculty Center, the acacia trees were sending down showers (it's a more romantic word for rain) of green and yellow. It was so lovely! I felt like I was walking in an Autumn path. I wish it was always like that...

For a moment, I thought it was going to rain. The sky was so overcast. But far away, I saw the glint of a white-and-green church, its tall steeples were shining wildly and standing proud. It was lovely to perceive so ethereal a view with a grayish sky as your background. It looks like Hope sending its rays to me...

Perhaps it was!

I played Sims 1 awhile ago. I had fun creating the Rosenmeyer, Montgomery, and Cruz families. They were awesome and their life stories were tragic and odd (spotted rabbits and a business tycoon who owned a company that manufactured plastic raincoats!). I'm looking forward to playing again, perhaps tomorrow night... There was one problem, though. The battery of my mouse has lost its power and I'm left with the uncooperative keyboard mouse. Ugh. I have to remember to bring a spare next time!

I've begun to read The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James. It's fantastic, even with its lengthy descriptions that are quite unnecessary. I haven't finished the first chapter... Yet.

I MUST go now because I have to review for my exam tomorrow. I also have to tidy up my room more...

January 5, 2010

8:37AM - I won another Scrabble game in P.E. Yay! Something's odd, though. Whenever I chance upon a scrabble or a bingo word, my heart beats really fast. To date, I have played two scrabble words: LASTING and, most recently, ENCORES. It's such a weird feeling, you know?

We're having another game on Thursday. I'm pretty nervous about it, but I'm sure it'll be alright. One lose won't hurt, ayt? My standing is: 3 wins - 1 loss. My spread is 124, I think. That's a pretty high number and the opponents will just get tougher and tougher. I know that God will be there to help me, even without practicing in Scrabble Interactive. Yoshi~!!

I have just finished cleaning my electric fan. Phew. That's about ten minutes of no air. Thankfully, it's not yet that hot... That, I think, is one of the consequences of living alone: you have the obligation to clean everything or you'll fail during G.I. (general inspection) days...

12:22PM - I finished watching Paris Je t'aime. It's such a nice collection of French shorts that'll make one fall in love with Paris. The stories are so nice and simple and neat... *sighsigh* Makes me want to type a review. :)

Like all other days in the dormitory, I feel quite odd about the way the cafeteria (concessionaire is a nice word but it doesn't suit them, I think... XD) people shake the ladle when they're giving you food and all the good pieces drop out. I understand that they're trying to feed 500 plus students but it just doesn't seem right, especially since vacation just finished and we're all used to placing mountains of food in our plates. Bleh. I dunno. I feel that way. Sorta.

7:45PM - I have finished reading Emily Climbs by L.M. Montgomery. It's such a shame. I thoroughly enjoyed it and the ending was a cliff-hanger. It ended beautifully with: "Perhaps Teddy was only shy!" Oh, yes. Now that is a pretty sentence, no?

I have also posted three reviews on my blog: two for movies and one for the book. Such a dear that blog is. I miss it so. I want to write so much but I don't know what. There is so much inside of me that bubbles up to the top (like a volcano!)... Up, up, up! But when it nearly explodes, the pressure is gone and the bubbles fade into blackness. That is frustrating.

L.M. Montgomery-related articles in Wikipedia never fail to amuse me. I know they hold the truth. I have read it in her books so. She is such a dear. I wish I could have met her, or at least wrote to her. Why, even if I did not receive a reply I would have been very happy! I think she was good to her fans and perhaps even answered them personally. I want to be that kind of writer.

So many italics! Perhaps the fictional Mr. Carpenter would scold me. I hope not.

8:58PM - (The bell has just rung!)

I have just finished reviewing for my exam on Thursday. It is interesting to read foreign names out loud, especially those in French and German. They have a certain richness that you can find, for example, in pronouncing Le Roux. Yes, there is some magic in Filipino names but I find foreign ones queer and fascinating. Not so the American ones. They seem to be bland, lifeless, and colorless. That is my opinion and it is mine to say. :P

I MUST WRITE! Whenever this is on me, I feel that I have to write every time. This change comes down upon me only when I have just finished reading an L.M. Montgomery book. (Oh, see how influential she is!) The common man may not understand that but whatever. Tonight, I am possessed by Emily Byrd Starr. Pardon the use of the word. We do sometimes associate it with evil things. But isn't it good to be possessed by good spirits often?

I MUST buy myself an empty notebook to write my thoughts in when the laptop is inaccessible (such as when I'm reviewing). Sometimes the plot for a story comes and leaves like the wind. It is so hard to grasp, like the lady of Opportunity my high school English teacher taught us about. It's so fleeting and beautiful. The only problem with writing manually is that my right hand aches from the motion. I MUST find a way to remedy that.

(But come, I must stop writing, I think.)

I am lying in my bed while typing this up. It is a little painful but I like it this way. I can do two things at the same time: type and rest. Ah, some people would not advise me to do it because the bed loses it's sense of being a bed to rest in at night. I like it this way, though. It's so nice and comforting and soft that the words just pour out.

(Oh, come. I told myself that once the bell rings I MUST turn off this thing but here I am.)

Isn't must a splendid word? It makes you do things you otherwise wouldn't do. It's such a powerful force of a word.

I tie my hair up in an unkempt bun when I'm studying. Is it a trait I picked up from Violet Baudelaire of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events? (It is rather unfortunate that I have not read this volume yet.)

I am excited for tomorrow because we're going to have Lingg 1. I'm going to see my old friends again! But come 10:00 and it's a horrid time. Agh. History. And I still don't have the readings! That's because our professor (I will prevent myself from typing horrible descriptions.) has forgotten to give them to the lady last year. He is so impossible. His mannerisms are enough to infuriate anyone! (There it goes, folks.) It will also be English 11 day tomorrow. I don't dread it as much as I dread History. I do dread, though, discussing poetry. It is so deep and difficult that it chokes you like a "barbed wire snare." Say, that just came out of Sylvia Plath's Daddy! But, then again, I never much liked poetry. I do not recognize the works of Tennyson and Wordsworth. (But I do like Emily Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese 43: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.) Prose is so much better understood by common folk.

There now, I must stop. Really stop.

The soul of Emily's pen is at work again.

Kalai Gives Back

I attended the first part only, but it was fun. Absolutely, it was better than the Acquaintance party. I enjoyed the performance of the UPSA - UP Singing Ambassadors. Their voices are so nice and ethereal (I just love that word). I thought they were going to be the final performers but they weren't. Actually, they sang first. It's soooooo lovely!

I also liked the part when the Kalai maintenance and staff sang. I actually heard them practicing a while ago. See, their "practice place" was just outside our window (actually below, since we're on the second floor). It was really nice to see them on the stage, belting out to the tune of Christmas songs. It was also nice to see Ate Lita back. Aww. She may not be our floor's janitress but we missed her (I'm sure it's the same with my floormates).

The event wouldn't be "Kalai gives back" if there weren't any benificiaries, right? The proceeds of the ticket sales (which is a required 10 pesos per person) will go to the noche buena package of the Kalai maintenance and staff, including the lady guards. Plus, some of it will also go to a project of the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. I forgot the name but it had something to do with feeding kids for 3 months with a 3,000 peso donation. Fun!

The Kalai dance group also performed. I couldn't see them, though, 'cause we were in the back row and some of the residents were standing up. :P


So, yes. I'm in my room right now, typing this up. They're holding the second part downstairs, at the basketball court. There's singing from the 3rd floor boys, I think. I don't like concerts that much so I'll stay here and wait for it to end... That'll be the start of the GAddesses Christmas Party. XD

All in all, I enjoyed my stay in Kalai for the year 2009. With the first release of Kalaibasa this January and the annual Pasafest, there's lots of things to look forward to in the next year. See ya~

Review of the Week

November 17, 2009

Ooookay. This is crazy. My P.E. is Scrabble and we're still required to buy P.E. uniforms? Like WTH... On the other hand, I still get the consolation of getting another U.P. souvenir. :)

November 18, 2009

Lingg 1 was fun today. We had a lot of laughs. Mr. Hernandez is a nicety nice teacher. :)) No, really. The subject is interesting, in particular. Why? Because language is unconscious and we never really think about what happens inside our mouth when we utter a particular sound. It's just so amazing, nee? Maybe you'll understand if you take the course. ;)

Kas 2 is... Okay, I guess. It isn't as boring as Kas 1 but whatever... It's history and it's not very likeable. XD

We had no classes for Eng 11 because Ms. Mata was sick.

November 19, 2009 is a very baaaaad day for me. Ged.

I had my first day of the thing-that-only-happens-to-women-once-a-month. My abdomen hurts so much and it chanced that it was the day for our major subject, Journ 100, which lasts for three hours (because we meet once a week). I was so shaking with pain that I can't really concentrate to what Ms. Tangi was saying. Thankfully, though, after going to the bathroom once to do who-knows-what I felt better. Haha.

Journ 100 was okay but it's history so I'm not that giddy... And the requirements... Book review with a minimum of 5 pages... An essay with a minimum of 7 pages for a final paper... First long quiz on December 17, day before the Lantern Parade... Reporting... GAH!! And the person who reported our topic last semester was the one who got the highest grade of 1.50, I think... 1.50! Highest grade! I am SHOCKed. XP

Anyway, life still goes on. I'm feeling good about Math 1 and Scrabble. Dunno why. XD

November 20, 2009

Lingg 1 is reaaaaaaally fun! Mr. Hernandez is a great teacher and the stuff he says is really interesting. I'm looking forward to more of Lingg 1 in the future. Also, Sharmaine and Fabz are two people I really enjoy talking to. We could talk about almost anything (mostly anime, though). Lingg 1 really got me thinking about language and all that shizz.

Okay. Kas 2 is boring. Like always.

We don't have Eng 11 to-day because Ms. Mata is sick... Which is probably because I prayed for it last Wednesday. XP

Anyway, because of that, I got to go home early. Yaaaaay! Buh-bye, dorm!

Sad sad sad

November 11, 2009 is a veeeeery sad day for me. A lot of things happened that were not suited to my taste. First of all, my English 12 class (which I was looking forward to) was dissolved. I arrived at CAL a little before 6:30 in the morning (class was supposed to start at 7am) and waited for the guard to open the entrance door. I waited for a few minutes and was soon inside. I looked for my classroom, CAL 311. No one was there when I arrived so I read my copy of the "Food of the gods" by H.G. Wells. Moments later, a girl arrived and asked if the class was English 11. I replied in the negative and said that mine was English 12. She took out her Change Mat form and asked if that English 12 was the English 12 that got dissolved. I said I didn't know. She nodded and went out. I kept the cool exterior but deep in my heart, I was really nervous. A dissolved class meant Change of Matriculation which is a process I don't want to undergo. :P A little later, I discovered that what the girl said was true. English 12 WFQ was really dissolved. I went to my next class (Lingg 1) dejected.

Lingg 1 was fun. Our professor's name is Tuting Hernandez and he's the makulit type of professor, if you know what I mean. Anyway, the class was nice and I'm expecting it to be interactive because of the number of students in the class (30, I think). The only thing I didn't especially like was the grading system. Grades were dictated by only two factors: the first and second long exam which consists of 100 points (not necessarily 100 items, ahem.) each, for a total of 200 points. In order to get a 1.00, I have to get 196-200 points in the exams. 3.00 is given with scores ranging from 120-129. Not that I'm aiming for just a passing grade but it's kind of hard to get to the top. He also said that he hasn't decided yet on what type of exam he'll give. He said that either it could all be objective or a one question exam, which meant that you'll have to reproduce a really good essay. I'm not good at that so I'm praying real hard that Mr. Hernandez would decided on objective. :)

My last class for November 11 was Kasaysayan 2 on the fourth floor of Palma Hall. Our professor was Mr. Gil Gotiango, Jr. II. He speaks in fluent Tagalog. He said a lot of things about the subject but the most striking was when he said that he's not very popular with students because he sets a high standard. Also, he'll give us three exams with two essay questions each. He says he'll give us two hours to answer them but sometimes students ask for extension in the time limit. That made me real nervous. :( But then, he said that he'll try to make the subject easier to understand. I was like, "How'd you that? It's history!!" =( Then he said that there were two people in the class who were his students before in Kasaysayan 1. His words were, "Hindi ko alam kung masohista sila..." and something else. I was like, "Whoaa!! This professor must really be hard."

I never really intended to get Kasaysayan 2. I was actually pre-enlisting for Sociology 10. However, there were no more slots left (they told us this after 5 hours of waiting in line) so I had no choice but to take another subject. Too tired and too disappointed to go to the Department of Archaeology, I took Kas 2 instead since it's located in the same building. Now I know that I should have taken Arkiyoloji 1 instead of this crap. =X

What's done is done though... But one can't help regretting past actions. As soon as I arrived at my room, I flung myself at the bed and cried really badly. I figured that there was a chance that I'd fail Kas 2, or even Lingg 1. It was so frustrating, especially to someone like me who achieved high grades all throughout these past years. Also, the pressure of being a university scholar last semester is driving me like crazy. What would my parents, relatives, and friends think of me if I failed to meet their expectation and got a GWA of 3.0 or something like that? It's just so distressing that until now I'm getting teary-eyed. :'(

I asked Kuya Kelvin if I'll have to take up Kas 2 again in summer if I failed. He said no. I was sorta relieved but the thoughts in the previous paragraphs lingered. I know what I have to do: prove Mr. Gotiangco wrong. But could I? I was not even sure if I'd be able to do that. I'm not even sure if I still want to study here in U.P. But that meant bringing down a lot of people, including my parents and I don't want to let people down. Even if they say it's alright, I know deep inside that it's not.

Maybe I'm just exaggerating everything but I can't help it, you know?

So I made a deal with God. If I don't pass the first exam in Kas 2, I'll drop it. Totally. I haven't told my parents yet but I know they'll be awful sad but I'm so sorry.

Right now (6:10PM in my cellphone), I just want to go home to Pampanga and forget everything. I know God is with me all the way but I just can't help feeling this way. It's so antagonizing...

Can the world please end... Now?

Consultation with Mr. Guerrero

I was wont to think last week that my consultation would be very scary, resulting to my nervousness about the subject. I had always imagined myself to be crying over the criticisms my professor would throw at my short story. But, in reality, it all happened in a different way.

I scheduled my consultation for Monday, 2PM. By 1:45, I was out of the dorm, making my way to the FC while running Mr. Guerrero's room number on my head. As I was walking, I could picture myself walking into the room, handing him my draft, sitting on a chair while watching him read it with a disgusted face. Then, after reading it all, he would give it back to me and begin saying all the nasty things about my work. After some minutes of hearing criticisms, he would be done and I would go back to the dorm with a sad, sad heart.

Ha. But it didn't happen that way.

There was an awkward thirty minutes first. I thought that we would consult with Mr. Guerrero on his room (FC 2061) so I waited there for thirty minutes, knocking at the door every five minutes or so. When I was tired of waiting, I decided to ask around for the Institute of Creative Writing. The woman operating the photocopier machine directed me to the room. And, yes. He was there. I am soooooo foolish. XP

So yeah. He took my draft and spent some ten minutes reading it. That was like the worst ten minutes of my day. When he finished reading, he walked up to me and began to point out the mistakes in the draft... In a nice way. He wasn't all shout-y and stuff. He was actually patient ('cause I didn't know what the heck run-on sentences are). He even said that it was well-written, and it only needed a little more adventure...

All in all, I was light-hearted as I walked back to the dorm, knowing that a Palanca awardee had read my work and said that it was well-written.

(I have to work on my grammar... XD)